Today i happened to be home when Oprah was on. it was strange because i am normally up at the school reading today but wasnt needed as the kids had other stuff on. the show was on Autism- i guess i was supposed to see it as i was home when i normally would not have been.
It was absolutely heart breaking. i cried and sobbed throughout the show. i felt so much empathy for those parents who really only wanted understanding and for people not to judge them or their kids. It made me feel like a fraud in some respects when i am have a bad day and get frustrated and think why me with Riley and his autism. But it gave me some real insight into just how lucky we really are. For the people on this show have so many more trials than me to get through. For many of them their children cannot speak at all, they cannot attend mainstream schools etc.
So much of their feelings however mirrored my own. the part that struck me most was the older brother of an autistic boy. he was 11 and his brother 10. the 11 year old expressed sadness and resentment yet unbelievable loyalty towards his brother. He spoke so eloquently about just wanting to have a " normal" family about not being second all the time after his brother. it struck a chord with my own situation. i worry a lot about how riley's disability limits what we do in some ways about how indeed it is easy to not give cait as much attention as she probably deserves. its never an intentional thing but inevitably sometimes it does happen.
a lot of the show was distressing but there were some wonderful parts too. one mother spoke about how her autistic daughter loved her unconditionally whatever she did. thats so true. Riley is one of the most loving children ever. yes he can ne frustrating too but i wouldnt want him any other way.if i had a choice i wouldnt change the diagnosis.that is part of who he is and we are blessed to have two beautiful children!
hugs bell :)
2 comments:
I often think, when I'm feeling overwhelmed with things and down about them, that there is always someone else worse off. I can't say it makes me feel better, but certainly makes me feel less sorry for myself. We all have our challenges - whether with our children, spouses, other family members. You've certainly had yours but you shine in so many ways and are so lucky and I know you know that well. Never hurts to have things clarified for us now and then, though.
Hugs,
K
You are such a good mama! Yes you are blessed and yes you handle your family's challenges with grace and acceptance that makes everything work out.
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